In February 2005 the Center for Biological Diversity filed a petition with the United States Fish and Wildlife Service to list the polar bear as endangered or threatened. This petition, of course, is based on the uncontested scientific certainty that "the earth has a temperature" (Guggenheim, David, 2006, The Inconvenient Truth, narrated by Gore, Al). Indeed, the organization's call to action did not fall on deaf ears. Environmental activism resulted in protection for the lovable behemoth hair balls (Source: http://www.biologicaldiversity.org/news/press_releases/2008/polar-bear-05-14-2008.html). Environmental activists from Center for Biological Diversity, Greenpeace, and the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) led this effort. In part, our irresponsible use of incandescent bulbs has contributed to the demise of the polar bear. George W. Bush was named in the lawsuit that resulted in the polar bear being listed as an "endangered species."
Ironically, it was George W. Bush who signed landmark legislation that will effectively remove the incandescent lightbulb from the market, beginning in 2012. The incandescent bulb, like the internal combustion engine, have never benefited society as much as they have inflicted environmental damages tantamount to genocide. The net effect of such inventions has been catastrophic, as demonstrated by the certainty of global warming. Perhaps it is because, deep inside Mr. Bush there really is a heart that pumps at least a modicum of actual blood. Or maybe it's because he was hoping to shed his partisan image, step across the aisle and have dialog with the true intellectual elite in the Democrat Party that inspired him to sign the bill. Who knows? Who cares? Bush still sucks.
We all now fully understand how important it is to convert our home lighting to the new energy efficient bulbs being sold by General Electric and other companies. Though they have direct ties to the White House, Jeffrey Immelt's leadership in his company's development of the new curly light bulbs is purely humanitarian (as are his efforts to bring other types of green energy to this country).
In yet another ironic twist in this Tale of the Bulb, polar bear populations appear to be on the rise, according to more than once source.
We know that one of the time-honored methods of controlling wildlife populations that are increasing at unsustainable rates is to find a humane way to reduce the populations:
Therefore, the only logical thing to do is to join my new organization, "Burn a Bulb, Kill a Bear." It is now possible to purchase 4-packs of 100 watt "soft white" light bulbs on Amazon for $1.99. The company that sells these bulbs is located in Massachusetts. If you think long term, and if you buy in bulk, you can do what I did today. I bought one gross of the four-packs. The shipping costs will bring the price up to about $0.60 apiece. I figure that 576 incandescent light bulbs will have some very positive effects.
My first goal is to diminish the suffering of the poplar bears. I do not have any stats for this, but it is my hope that by the time these bulbs are burned up, perhaps at least one single adult polar bear (or if I am really lucky, several cubs) will have their lives shortened, hopefully to a substantial degree. If I can convince just another 10,000 people to do as I have done, we can have a significant positive impact on the polar bear population.
My second goal is to keep my home environment clean. To my understanding, if these bulbs break, I do not have to hire a hazardous waste team to come to home to clean up the mercury that I would have to deal with when one of the new curly bulbs gets broken. So here, again, it's all about the environment.
It gets better. My third goal is to save as substantial amount of money. I do not personally foresee that day in my lifetime that curly bulbs that put out the actual equivalent of 100 watts of light will actually cost $0.60 apiece.
Before stating my fourth goal, in the interest of full disclosure, I will tell the reader that I actually own the company that is selling these bulbs. I believe that my inside connection should pose no significant evidence of market manipulation or the use of my political connections to make a buck. In fact, I am following in the pattern established by Jeffrey Immelt. This is the way business is done.
Lastly, and this is the really juicy part, when the incandescent light bulbs are no longer readily available, I will have made at least another 10-20 such purchases. I will be storing these bulbs in a special place in my home. I can write off lots of money here because I will really will be using this space for business purposes. My new business will be based on my sincere desire, as an amateur historian, to preserve important parts of our history. I want to pass on the message to future generations that our irresponsible use of the incandescent light bulb is a mistake that should never be repeated. Of course, keeping this concept firmly in mind is very important---and the best way to do this is to make sure that amateur scientists, school children, and the like can conduct important scientific experiments to measure the actual amount of heat that these bulbs have added to the environment. This kind of object lesson may prevent future generations from grabbing hold of bad science that is socially and environmentally destructive. Due to the expected scarcity of the bulbs, I believe a reasonable market value for each bulb will be about $5.00 apiece. With the tax write off for the storage space, I figure my actual ROI will be around 600%, which will outpace gold by a long shot.
Please do no try to find out who I am or where I live in the event you want to make a purchase. I will be selling these on Ebay. If you use a search term such as "Incandescent Bulb, 100 watt, For Demonstration and Historical Purposes Only," you will be able to make your purchase. To keep this on the up and up, I will have to limit purchases to a 4-pack per household per year. Save me as one of your Favorite Sellers so that you can make your purposes annually. If you are like me, you will want to experiment and demonstrate on a frequent basis, and you know these things just don't last forever. I believe my Seller Name will be something along the order of "Skeptic."